For a much-needed break from a day and half of book editing - now that Just Stop Oil have ceased active civil disobedience, here are 15 alternative equivalent socially useful things they could do to pass the time:
- Chase ducks around the park while making quacking noises to the theme tune of Mission Impossible.
- Form a competitive interpretive dance troupe that only performs routines based on melting ice caps.
- Start a YouTube channel where they whisper Greta Thunberg quotes to confused houseplants.
- Develop a board game based entirely on guessing the emotional state of bamboo flutes.
- Camp outside petrol stations and dramatically faint every time a car fills up.
- Descend to supermarket car parks, find all the abandoned trolleys, and insult them in a Glaswegian accent.
- Spend afternoons dramatically re-enacting scenes from The Crucible using only sock puppets and deep existential sighs, and charge men 11% more for a ticket than women.
- Take their grandparents shopping in IKEA and turn their noses up at the fossil-fuel-scented candles.
- Host silent discos in public libraries using imaginary headphones and extremely aggressive eye contact.
- Stand on Westminster Bridge and coordinate group farts to the chimes of Big Ben, freshly recreated from the hiss and gurgle of a barista frothing oat milk.
- Open a community art gallery featuring only finger paintings of emotions they’ve never personally felt.
- Petition the government to make every Monday a Saturday and every Tuesday a Sunday, and apply for state funding to research the carbon footprint of pavement shadows made from tall buildings.
- Perform spontaneous flash mobs to pigeons in UK seaside towns.
- Walk backwards in remote Welsh villages for 30 days to undo the mistakes of society.
- Run workshops teaching teaspoons how to
embrace their individuality in a world full of forks, knives and
tablespoons.
