An Interpretation Of My Dreams

 

I have two recurring psychological motifs in my dreams. One is that when I’m trying to physically get to a place, the journey is slowed down by something, and I never get there. Either physically moving to a destination feels like wading through thick treacle, or there is some other impediment that thwarts the journey. And two is that when there is a specific, clear goal required – either having to speak to someone about something, solve a problem, put something away in a cupboard, or whatever – I become engaged in numerous tangential activities, never getting to the clear goal.

Now, I know what the initial psychoanalytic diagnosis would offer – that these dreams reflect struggles with progress in waking life, feeling held back from achieving my goals, anxiety about whether I will fulfil my potential, and so forth - but none of that consciously manifests in my thinking. I’m very satisfied with my life, while equally excited for the growth that is to come. I’m pleased with my achievements so far, but at the same time I’m exhilarated by the potential that is to come. And I’m thoroughly enjoying every step of the journey (even the suffering), knowing that each new destination offers further horizons I will aspire to reach.

So, it’s hard to reconcile the nature of the dreams with struggles related to progress, feeling held back from achieving my goals, and anxiety about whether I will fulfil my potential, because I’m genuinely enthralled and gratified with the journey I’m on. It’s possible – and perhaps probable, to some extent – that there are forces at work in my unconscious and subconscious that haven’t been brought to bear on the peaceful nature of my conscious experiences, but I might have an interpretation below that’s a more reasonable approximation to the truth.

If I had a stab at an interpretation of dreams, I’d discern it not a symbol of frustration, but rather a deep subconscious immersion in the nature of progress itself, wholly embracing the idea from Camus that the struggles are part of the heights. The complexity and richness of the journey is never going to be a straight, uncomplicated path. But part of the thrill of the journey is in recognising how progress often meanders, how it encounters resistance, and how it unfolds in unexpectedly exhilarating ways because of this.

That said, when I’m in the state of dreaming, the feeling of wading through treacle does not seem to represent a joyous acknowledgement of the sheer depth and viscosity of experience – it genuinely feels inhibiting. But perhaps that is exactly what we should expect, and even hope for, because mindful engagement with the process of ‘becoming’ ought to be demanding, as overcoming challenges is one of the fundamental rewards of the journey. In most cases, I don’t think the impediments are inhibitors, at least not in the medium to long-term – they are a key part of our immersive experiences, forcing deeper engagement with the reality of our past, present and future, and become fuller human beings on this daily adventure.