The Narcissus Paradox: Suffering Through Excessive Self-Focus

 

I’d say one of the most interesting things Jordan Peterson has said is that “self-consciousness is so tightly associated with suffering that they're not conceptually distinguishable”, and that “the more you think about yourself the more miserable you are”. I think the topic raised here is very interesting, and would be even more compelling with the right amount of nuance, because it’s true that self-consciousness is associated with suffering in some cases, and thinking about yourself more can easily lead to increased negative emotion. But it depends on HOW one is thinking about oneself. Excessive self-focus and unhealthy self-centred preoccupations at the expense of thinking of others are expected to cause increased unhappiness, depression and anxiety, because it’s a terrible way to live. On the other hand, thinking about ourselves in terms of constructive self-awareness and active self-improvement, in a balanced way, is mostly beneficial.

I think it’s worth exploring the former – that excessive self-focus and unhealthy self-centred preoccupations at the expense of thinking of others makes us miserable – because it’s one of the fundamental truths about human nature, that it’s psychologically impoverishing being the primary objects of our own attention. You can see in people who live this way that their life becomes little more than an echo chamber of dissatisfaction – it breeds disconnection from reality and from others, and eventually one’s whole sense of meaning becomes distorted out of shape.

Paradoxically, it is only through positive outward focus – on God, on others, on love, on grace, on gratitude, on kindness, on purpose, on meaning, on beauty, etc – that we get to truly find ourselves in the process, and tap in to the riches that life has to offer.